11.13.09

Management Lesson

Posted in Jokes at 16:31 by Erwin Kodiat

Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit  saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit on my ass like you and do  nothing?”
The eagle answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground  below the eagle, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, he saw the  rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting on your ass and doing nothing, you must  be sitting very high up.

Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to  the top of that tree, ” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the  energy.”
“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my manure droppings”replied the  bull.
“They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of manure,  found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of  the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the  second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at  the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot  the turkey out
of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bull Shit might get you to the top but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird  froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there,  a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there  in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung  was actually thawing him out. He lay there all warm and happy and soon  began to sing for
joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.  Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow  dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lessons:

  1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
  2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
  3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

11.06.09

Women’s English

Posted in Jokes at 09:38 by Erwin Kodiat

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I am sorry =You’ll be sorry
We need to talk =You’re in trouble
Sure, go ahead =You better not
Do what you want = You will pay for this later
I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

11.02.09

Behind a Woman

Posted in Jokes at 10:58 by Erwin Kodiat

Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied man.
Behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man