09.29.09
Posted in Jokes at 13:02 by Erwin Kodiat
A virile middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.
After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, ‘So, you finish?’
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, ‘No.’
Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and asked, ‘You finish?’
Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, ‘No.’
Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping.
Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, ‘You finish?’
Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispered in his ear, ‘No, I Norwegian’
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09.28.09
Posted in Lawakan at 11:06 by Erwin Kodiat
Di tengah padang pasir saat terik matahari siang, Hasim bersama ontanya berjalan sendirian. Tiba-tiba timbul gairah seks yang menggebu-gebu, Hasim berpikir, “Kenapa sekarang? Di tengah padang pasir begini dengan siapa saya harus melampiaskannya?”
Karena sudah nafsu dan pengaruh dahsyatnya terik matahari padang pasir membuat otaknya sedikit error, diapun berpikir untuk melampiaskan nafsunya pada ontanya. Melihat gelagat aneh majikannya tersebut, si onta berusaha menyelamatkan diri dengan berlari. Hasim pun mengejarnya, namun onta itu sepertinya terlalu cepat untuk dikejar.
Tiba tiba ada pesawat yang melintas di tengah padang pasir tersebut dengan api membakar kedua mesinnya dan pesawat pun itu jatuh sekitar 50 meter dari Hasim berdiri. Hasim menghampiri pesawat tersebut, tak ada satupun penumpang yang terlihat selamat. Saat Hasim akan pergi meninggalkan pesawat tersebut, dia melihat seorang pramugari seksi tergolek tak jauh dari bangkai pesawat. Begitu didekati ternyata pramugari itu masih hidup dan Hasim pun merawat pramugari tersebut.
Begitu pramugari itu bangun, ia langsung memeluk Hasim dan bilang, “Anda telah menyelamatkan saya. Saya akan melakukan apa saja untuk membuat Anda senang.”
Hasim pun menyambut dengan gembira, “Serius nih? Apa saja?”
Pramugari itu berkata dengan nada menggoda,“Apa saja walaupun itu melelahkan”.
Hasim pun langsung memegang tangan pramugari tersebut dan berkata, “Tolong bantu tangkap onta saya, ya!”
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Posted in Jokes at 11:06 by Erwin Kodiat
At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home…
He asks him: ”What are you doing?”
The son replied: “Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!”
Father said: “Wait! I am coming with you!”
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09.27.09
Posted in Lawakan at 08:19 by Erwin Kodiat
Ada suami yang suatu hari ngomong ma istrinya “Aku tidak mengerti bagaimana kamu bisa bego tapi tetap aja cakep.”
Istrinya jawab, “Tuhan bikin aku cakep biar kamu suka sama aku, tapi aku juga dibikin bego biar aku suka sama kamu”
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Posted in Jokes at 08:12 by Erwin Kodiat
A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence.
Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep, ” the husband replied, “in-laws “.
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09.26.09
Posted in Jokes at 10:54 by Erwin Kodiat
A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional can never be broken, however I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here 25 years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer! Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled! But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honour of being the first one to go to him in confession.”
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09.25.09
Posted in Jokes at 15:44 by Erwin Kodiat
A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw.
Unable to make himself heard he waves to another worker on the first floor and uses sign language.
He points to his eye for ‘I’, his knee for ‘need’ & moves his hand in back & forth slicing motion for a ‘handsaw’.
Man on the first floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating.
Man on third floor is stunned, runs down to first floor & shouts, ‘I need a handsaw!’
The other man replies, ‘I know, I was telling you I’m coming!’
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09.24.09
Posted in Jokes at 09:50 by Erwin Kodiat
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked OK for a 61-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter.
We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double.
What’s that?’ I asked
It’s a mother and daughter threesome,’ she said.
I said, ‘No’ – excitedly.
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was ‘my lucky night’.
I went back to her place.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: ‘Mum, you still awake?’
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09.23.09
Posted in Jokes at 17:21 by Erwin Kodiat
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old.
After explaining the commandment to ‘honor’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’
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09.22.09
Posted in Jokes at 09:46 by Erwin Kodiat
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, ‘Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?’
Her mother replied, ‘Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.’
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, ‘Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?’
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